The Green Punch
by SwordofallCreation
Summary: One shot. It turns out that it doesn't matter whether or not you can spit fire when you can end any fight with just one punch.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Naruto or One-Punch Man. But damn do I love One-Punch Man.**

**This… was a strange idea. But it still totally made sense. Somehow. **

The Green Punch

Rock Lee and Might Guy were… interesting individuals, depending on who you asked.

There were people who called them freaky. (Bushy-brows!)

There were people who believed them insane. (Green spandex?!)

Then there were the people who knew more about them, but simply didn't bother. (Kakashi: …)

But most of all, the punishments they put on themselves were horrifying. Seriously, who climbs up Hokage Mountain with only their teeth with boulders tied to them?!

Ahem. Anyways, it was clear that they were strange. But for an even greater reason. It was the fact that they did not use ninjutsu while fighting, using only Taijutsu. Only. TAIJUTSU. In a world where people can summon giant animals, bring forth elemental dragons, even clone themselves, Rock Lee and Might Guy used only their fists and feet, and a weapon or two when they felt like it.

So yes, they were strange. But Rock Lee even more so than his master, Might Guy.

The reason?

Rock Lee could win any fight with merely one punch. So, he asked his sensei to give him every possible handicap possible for fighting that would debilitate him. Might Guy readily agreed, crying that his student's youth had long surpassed his.

The training Lee had undergone for this extraordinary power was actually quite simple. He did 100 push-ups, 100 squats, 100 crunches, and a 10km run every single day. When he had told his sensei this, his Guy had originally been a bit skeptical that such an exercise could have such great effects. But nevertheless, Guy trained more than that on average, so he was willing to give it a try.

And so, Might Guy became able to win every fight with one punch.

Now fully able to comprehend his student's boredom, Guy and Lee both searched for the greatest threats to their home for any semblance of a challenge, as they severely handicapped themselves. As a result, they took down numerous high level shinobi with ease, earning them both spots in the bingo book as "The Green Fists of Konoha," with the ranking of S-class and a warning to pray for mercy if seen by them.

Most of these encounters with the enemy shinobi went like this:

"Ha! Lookie here! I've found myself some Konoha scum!" Random mook A.

"Let's take them out and see what those tree-huggers will do!" Doomed ninja B.

"May I take this one, Guy-sensei?" Rock Lee.

"Of course, Lee! Let your Flames of Youth explode!" Might Guy.

"Hey, don't just stand around, you f-" Dead mook C.

"Ah… it seems they all died with one punch." Rock Lee.

*Sigh* "It appears we have yet again been unable to show our true Flames of Youth. But when we do, it will be glorious!" Might Guy.

"Yes Guy-sensei!" Rock Lee.

"LEE!"

"GUY-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GUY-SENSEI!"

Suffice to say, it was a very fortunate fact that there was no one left alive. Their sunset genjutsu of youth would have been far more scarring than any explosive death with guts and blood flying everywhere.

While they could not find strong enemies, that did not mean that Lee and Guy could not spar with each other. Unfortunately, they had to have these spars on one of the more far outlying oceans as the collateral damage would have been massive otherwise.

Their power was so great in fact, that they inevitably began to overshadow the protagonist of the show. Even though the name was still "Naruto", it might as well have been "Might Guy and Rock Lee: The Flames of Youth."

[The author takes a brief moment to rage at how much attention was needlessly given to Sasuke, even though Might Guy proved that he went above human limits without some bullshit Deus ex Machina.]

And so, all major conflicts were ended quite easily.

Chunin exams? Lee just punched through Gaara's sand, knocking him out. Leading to Shukaku being released. And following that, being punched to tiny specks of sand. Orochimaru wisely retreated and decided to cut his losses.

Sasuke retrieval mission? All of the Sound Five were blasted to bits by Lee, allowing everyone to catch Sasuke and drag him back home.

Kazekage rescue? The Akatsuki didn't stand a chance. The tags meant to be replicas of Team Guy were all obliterated because they couldn't hold a fraction of Guy or Lee's full strength. Both Deidara and Sasori were destroyed by the following backup that came.

In fact, the only true incident that Lee and Guy found interesting was the leader of the Akatsuki, who proclaimed himself a God. The only problem was, they weren't in the village when it occurred.

Now, zooming to the 4th Great Ninja War, both Lee and Guy had thought the undead would be far more interesting to fight. Turns out, they can't really do much but constantly regenerate.

Kabuto: Welp, looks like lord Orochimaru was right for once. Time to cut my losses and scram.

When Madara was brought onto the field in order to give Kabuto time to escape, Lee and Guy wrapped up the problems in their regiment and went out to take down the Uchiha. The tag team of Obito and Madara was formidable. Formidable enough not to die on the first punch, that is.

The biggest problem with Obito had been his ability to phase in and out, seemingly like a Genjutsu. Thankfully, that had easily been dealt with by simply punching him immediately as he was able to touch them. Madara was easier to defeat, after he had activated Susano'o, making him a bigger target that the green duo had smashed through.

The face everyone had when the greatest dangers of the war were taken down so effortlessly were completely worth it. As were the Uchihas' reactions.

The war ended peacefully. Lee was appointed the 7th Hokage. Guy continued to challenge Kakashi to insane challenges alongside Lee until his death. The End.

(And Sasuke was a complete and utter fool for not realizing just exactly how simply it would've been to have the power to destroy Itachi.)

**I always wanted to try a one-shot of One-Punch Man. I'm afraid I didn't exactly do the original's comedy any favors with this, but it was a shot. This was basically inspired by One-Punch Shirou, even though I couldn't think of anything good enough for this. If you even remotely enjoyed this one, go read On-Punch Shirou by Sir Godot. It's far better and absolutely hilarious.**

**Anyone else think how many Saitama's would be running around with Lee and Guy's insane training regimens? **

**If you're here, you probably read the whole thing. If not, scroll back up to read everything. Then scroll back down and leave a review.**


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